Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize