and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think a kid would responsible me up
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
