How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
