I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
