Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
