ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
