It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
