There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she looked like the before picture.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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