You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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