I only kidnapped one of them. chill
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
