Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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