I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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