Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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