Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
