It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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