At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
