Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
