Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Randomize
