Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize