I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
