I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
