At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize