bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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