I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
