Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
