it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
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