why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize