i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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