her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
