DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
