Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Im part way to drunk.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
