you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
