I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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