tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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