I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
