I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
we're so committed to being not committed
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
