Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
