Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize