it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
