yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
