how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
