Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
