i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
