i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
