Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
