Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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