I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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