I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
