I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i think i have two assholes
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
