I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
