what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
