May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize