There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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