pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
