At least make sure they are 18
Why
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
