so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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