Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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