guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
