3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
