Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
