he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
