am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize