so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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