Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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