She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
