See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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