I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
