was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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