It's Friday. Sex?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
