cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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