1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
