Duck Duck Cougar?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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